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Employment Notice for Old People
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Subject: Fw: Employee Notice for old people

 

 

 

 

 

 

Somebody has too much time on their hands........??

**************** 

 

 
 
Subject: Fw: Employee Notice for old people

 

 

 

 

 

Somebody has too much time on their hands........??

**************** 
Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown

in the economy, the Government has decided to implement a

scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early,

mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing

unemployment.
This scheme will be known as RAPE
(Retire Aged People Early).
Persons selected to be
RAPED can apply to the Government to

be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced

Termination).
Persons who have been
RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed

under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early

Workers).
A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED

as many times as the Government deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS 

(Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or 

HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early

Severance).
Obviously persons who have
AIDS or HERPES will

not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the

Government.
Persons who are not
RAPED and are staying on will

receive as much **** (Special High Intensity Training)

as possible. The Government has always prided

themselves on the amount of **** they give our citizens.
Should you feel that you do not receive enough
****,

please bring this to the attention of your MP, who has been
trained to give you all the
**** you can handle.
Sincerely,

 The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)

PS - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of

electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions,
The Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.

 



 

 

 

 




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