Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Forum Rules (Click Here) -> Ontario Rodders -> Ontario Rodders Lounge -> giggle
Post Info TOPIC: giggle
knotsobrite


SIMCOE, ONT

Status: Offline
Posts: 20
Date:
giggle
Permalink  
 

One day an old man goes into a pharmacy, reaches into his pocket and takes out a small bottle and a teaspoon laying it on the counter.

 
He asks the pharmacist, “Could you taste this for me, please”.
 
Being a senior citizen, the pharmacist went along, taking the spoon with a tiny dab of the liquid, puts it in his mouth swills the liquid around and with a grimacing look spits it out in a cup.
 
“Now does that taste sweet to you.” says the old man?
 
The pharmacist said to the old man.  “Hell no!”
 
“Oh that's a relief”, says the old man, “The doctor told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar”.


__________________
427CARL


CLINTON, ONT

Status: Offline
Posts: 3909
Date:
Permalink  
 

 

AN ISRAELI DOCTOR SAYS: "IN ISRAEL, MEDICINE IS SO ADVANCED

THAT WE CUT OFF A MAN'S TESTICLES, PUT THEM ON ANOTHER MAN, AND

IN 6 WEEKS, HE IS LOOKING FOR WORK."

 

 

 

 

THE GERMAN DOCTOR SAYS: "THAT'S NOTHING, IN GERMANY WE TAKE

PART OF A BRAIN, PUT IT IN ANOTHER MAN, AND IN 4 WEEKS HE IS

LOOKING FOR WORK."

 

 

THE RUSSIAN DOCTOR SAYS: "GENTLEMEN, WE TAKE HALF A HEART

FROM A MAN, PUT IT IN ANOTHER MAN'S CHEST, AND IN 2 WEEKS HE

IS LOOKING FOR WORK."

 

 

THE CANADIAN DOCTOR LAUGHS: "YOU ALL ARE BEHIND US. FOURTEEN

MONTHS AGO, WE TOOK A WOMAN WITH NO BRAINS, NO HEART, AND NO

BALLS AND MADE HER PREMIER OF ONTARIO. NOW, THE WHOLE PROVINCE IS

 

LOOKING FOR WORK†



__________________

 

 
MScott


EASTERN ONTARIO

Status: Offline
Posts: 76
Date:
Permalink  
 

A guy goes into a store and tells the clerk, "I'd like some Polish sausage." The clerk looks at him and asks, "Are you Polish?" The guy, clearly offended, says, "Well, yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish?" Raising his voice, he continues, "Or if I had asked for a taco would you ask if I was Mexican? Would ya, huh? Would ya?" The clerk says, "Well, no." With deep self-righteous indignation, the guy says, "Well, alright then, why did you ask me if I'm Polish just because I ask for Polish sausage?" The clerk quietly replies, "Um, because this is Home Depot."



__________________
studeshaker


BUCKHORN, ONT

Status: Offline
Posts: 687
Date:
Permalink  
 

arkansas state trooper pulls over billy bob.

trooper - got any I.D. ?

billy bob - bout whut ?



__________________

don't walk in like you own the place..........walk in like you hold the mortgage.
henry


CORNWALL, ONT

Status: Offline
Posts: 340
Date:
Permalink  
 

I tune in for the laughs ......keep them coming



__________________

Fords Rule ! If it ain't designed and manufactured in North America it sucks ! I don't do rice, pasta, fish and chips, sauerkraut, Ikea or other third world motor vehicle !
427CARL


CLINTON, ONT

Status: Offline
Posts: 3909
Date:
Permalink  
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Man Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally, the guys' side of the story.

( I must admit, it's pretty good.) 

We always hear 'the rules'

From the female side

 

Now here are the rules from the male side.

 

These are our rules!

Please note.. these are all numbered '1 ' 

ON PURPOSE!

 

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

 

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.

You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down..

We need it up, you need it down.

You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

 

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon 

or the changing of the tides.

Let it be.

 

1. Crying is blackmail.

 

1. Ask for what you want. 

Let us be clear on this one: 

Subtle hints do not work!

Strong hints do not work!

Obvious hints do not work!

Just say it!

 

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

 

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.

Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

 

 

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days. 

 

 

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.

Don't ask us.

 

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or                  angry, we meant the other one 

 

1. You can either ask us to do something

or tell us how you want it done. 

Not both.

If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

 

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

 

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

 

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.

Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

 

1. If it itches, it will be scratched..

We do that.

 

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong.

We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

 

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

 

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really. 

 

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or motor sports.

 

 

1. You have enough clothes.

 

1. You have too many shoes.

 

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape !

 

1. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight.

 

 

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.



__________________

 

 
studeshaker


BUCKHORN, ONT

Status: Offline
Posts: 687
Date:
Permalink  
 

i bought lite beer 'cause i thought it'd be easier to carry.



__________________

don't walk in like you own the place..........walk in like you hold the mortgage.
Ninop69


THORNHILL, ONT

Status: Offline
Posts: 290
Date:
Permalink  
 

LOL!!!! Lite beer... easy to carry....LOL!!!

__________________

I'd rather be in the garage!  I'm old school, I use the "inches" side of the measuring tape!

 
henry


CORNWALL, ONT

Status: Offline
Posts: 340
Date:
Permalink  
 

See it worked, I came back.

I said to my wife after a flower commercial on tv "Not having a girlfriend says I love you, Happy Valentines Days"

Roses are for cheaters.

__________________

Fords Rule ! If it ain't designed and manufactured in North America it sucks ! I don't do rice, pasta, fish and chips, sauerkraut, Ikea or other third world motor vehicle !
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.
Forum Rules (Click Here) -> Ontario Rodders -> Ontario Rodders Lounge -> giggle


Create your own FREE Forum
Report Abuse 		Powered by ActiveBoard