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Post Info TOPIC: morning giggle
shag766


FOXBORO, ONT

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Posts: 2265
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morning giggle
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Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home.
Sergeant: What is her height?
Husband: Gee, I’m not sure. A little over five-feet tall.
Sergeant: Weight?
Husband: Don’t know. Not slim, not really fat.
Sergeant: Color of eyes?
Husband: Never noticed.
Sergeant: Color of hair?
Husband: Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown.
Sergeant: What was she wearing?
Husband: Could have been a skirt or shorts. I don’t remember exactly.
Sergeant: What kind of car did she go in?
Husband: She went in my truck.
Sergeant: What kind of truck was it?
Husband: Brand new 2015 Ford F150 King Ranch 4X4 with eco-boost 5.0L V8 engine special ordered with manual transmission. It has a custom matching
white cover for the bed. Custom leather seats and “Bubba” floor mats. Trailering package with gold hitch. DVD with navigation, 21-channel CB radio, six cup holders, and four power outlets. Added special alloy wheels and off-road Michelins. Wife put a small scratch on the drivers door.
At this point the husband started choking up.
Sergeant: Don’t worry buddy. We’ll find your truck.

 



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Fordy Acres Car Farm


DORCHESTER, ONT

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If I could afford a new truck, that's likely how I'd order it too!winkwink



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DJD


SCARBOROUGH, ONT

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Posts: 1167
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white with leather or with the missing wife option ?

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427CARL


CLINTON, ONT

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I found a magic lantern in the sand and upon rubbing it a genie popped out. She said she could only grant me one wish.

 

"I want to live forever," I said.

 

"Sorry," said the fairy, "I'm not allowed to grant wishes like that!"

 

"Fine," I said, "I want to die after the Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup!"

 

 

"You crafty bastard," said the fairy.



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427CARL


CLINTON, ONT

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Posts: 3909
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THE BROTHEL

 

The madam opened the brothel door in Winnipeg  and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties. 

   

"May I help you sir?"  she asked. 

   

The man replied,  "I want to see Valerie." 

   

"Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. 

Perhaps you would prefer someone else" , said the madam. 

   

He replied,  "No, I must see Valerie." 

   

Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man she charged $5000 a visit. 

   

Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand dollars and gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs. 

   

After an hour, the man calmly left. 

   

The next night, the man appeared again, once more 

demanding to see Valerie. 

  

Valerie explained that no one had ever come back 

two nights in a row as she was too expensive. 

   

"There are no discounts. The price is still $5000." 

Again, the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie,and they went upstairs. 

   

After an hour, he left. 

The following night the man was there yet again. 

   

Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third 

consecutive night, but he paid Valerie and they went upstairs. 

   

After their session, Valerie said to the man,  

"No one has ever been with me three nights in a row. 

Where are you from?" 

   

The man replied,  " New Brunswick ." 

   

"Really,"  she said.  "I have family in New Brunswick ." 

   

"I know."  the man said.  "Your sister died, and I am her attorney. 

She asked me to give you your $15,000 inheritance." 

  

 

 

The moral of this story is that three things in life are certain:

 

 

1.  Death

2.  Taxes; and 

 

3.  Being screwed by a lawyer!   



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